Adventures in Baby Making

Under Watchful Eyes

My Mom will be here tomorrow for the week and then we are all (me, J, N & C, mom, dad, sister & BIL) going on vacation.  My parents' birthdays are that week (they are 4 days apart) and they turn the big 6-0; to celebrate they wanted some quality family time.  I'm actually looking forward to the trip.  After we went to Newport, RI for J's brother's wedding (my family was also invited & we stayed at the same inn) when N & C were 6 months old, I became a fan of vacationing with a set of grandparents.  Very helpful to have the extra hands, especially when I might have possibly consumed a teeny tiny bit too much red wine and had a wee bit of a headache one morning.  But anyhoo, since my Mom will be here, I likely won't be blogging.  The computer is in the living room and there's no privacy.  So fret not, if I'm silent again, it won't necessarily mean I've dropped off the edge of blogosphere again.

I have some anxieties about the upcoming family time (me, have anxieties??).  My Mom rented an apartment nearby for the first 6 months after N & C were born.  Her help kept me from losing my shit in a really big way.  I truly believe if not for her, I would've been struggling with postpartum depression.  But there are some drawbacks to having anyone bear witness to the intimate daily details of how you manage your relationship, household and life.  As I mentioned in a previous post, the early months were not easy for J and I.  My mother was there for it all.  My mother was also there to witness my own transformation into a mother.  More specifically, a twin mother.  Which brings me to my anxieties.  There have been moments where I have felt self-conscious of the amount of attention I give to N & C individually.  Did someone notice I leaned over and give N and kiss but I didn't do the same with C?  Did I snuggle with C more today than N?  Who got more hugs today?  In my head, I worry that the person watching me interact with my babies, is keeping score.  I don't know why I feel this way but I do.  And I feel it most acutely around my mother.   With these anxieties, I'm realizing how much I've enjoyed not being under the microscope with my mothering.  Bleh - mothers are tricky, no?

Why Go Around When You Can Go Over?

Because they are so damn cute, I'm posting a few of the latest pictures of C & N.  They are crawling like mad these days and it's more fun than I could've imagined.  They love to play chase - usually C leading the game.  C pulled herself up to standing tonight for the first time.  I bathe them one at a time and because our bathroom is the smallest bathroom on the planet, the baby not being bathed, plays in their crib.  When I went in to the nursery after bathing N, there was C, standing up - you could tell she knew she'd done something pretty spanky.  She was grinning and giggling - when N saw her, he started giggling, making his happy noises and his arms and legs were flailing with glee.  It was as if he was cheering her on and that he, too, knew she'd just accomplished something big.  Moments like that make my heart soar.  Cheesy I know, but it's the truth.  Being a twin mom is without a doubt the most awesome experience.
So in honor if my twin mom happiness, for a limited time, here's a few action shots of the kiddos. Sorry, I've taken them down - maybe I'll post a few more soon.

I haven't yet decided how I feel about regularly posting pictures of the kiddos.  I know many of you do and I love seeing them but I know others feel strongly about not posting them.  So I'd love to hear your thoughts on the posting pictures of kids issue whether you post or do not post pictures.

Oh, and let's hope 3rd times a charm on the day care interviews/visits.  We've seen 2 so far and will see a 3rd tomorrow - a more detailed post on the search is coming soon.

Counterjinx

I think I may have figured out the counterjinx to being asked The Question. 

Me: "Honey, if you handle all the night wakings, I'll get up with them in the morning and let you sleep"
J: "Sure"

I forgot about this very powerful tool.  Every time I've made this deal with J*, they never wake in the night.  Never.  I'm feeling very well rested today.  This is good because we're checking out our first daycare provider later today.  I'm a little nervous.

*I don't get to make this deal very often because J works a late shift and isn't home until midnight or later if there's overtime.

"So, are they sleeping through the night?"

My least favorite question.  The most frequently asked question (after the whole "are they identical" nonsense).

The thing is, N & C are pretty good sleepers.*  But the other thing is, every time I get asked The Question and admit that they are pretty good sleepers*, the universe laughs at me and N & C proceed to have at least 2 horrible nights, but usually more.  Every. time.  It doesn't matter how hard I try to acknowledge the Sleep Powers That Be with my responses: "well, for right now, they are sleeping through the night, yes, but you know, that could change at any moment" or "For now, yes they're sleeping great but we're on the cusp of some milestones so that could change at any moment".  I try so hard to be appropriately grateful and appreciative so that maybe, the pattern will break.  Never works.  Never.  Without fail crappy sleep immediately follows being asked The Question.

Some one asked The Question on Sunday.  It's been pretty rough over here since Sunday night.  I'm tired and cranky.  Do you think the Sleep Powers That Be want me to start lying?  Because I will if that's what it takes. 

In the midst of this wonky sleep stretch, I decided it was a great time to finally start calling around to start the day care search.  Infant care is pretty hard to find.  But is it really necessary to laugh when I say "Hi, I was calling to inquire about day care.  I have 9 month old twins."  Because I could do without the laughter.  It's not helping my crankiness.

That's all for now - I've got to turn in early as who knows what's in store for tonight.

*MAJOR DISCLAIMER: I understand that their sleep habits can change on a dime and I am prepared for every thing to go to shit at any moment.  Constant vigilance in expecting horrible nights is key.