Stopping Time

A few housekeeping details before moving on to the issue at hand:

• Please note the new feature to the left.  Thanks to Stacie's horrifying post on college tuition, I have decided my Quarters for College approach should be augmented just a wee bit.  Feel free to click away.
• On my To-Do list is an update of my blogroll.  I haven't updated it in ages.  I would like to include more parenting blogs, particularly those of parents of multiples.  Please leave any recommendations in the comments section.  I have only happened upon a few and could use help finding more.

I'm enjoying my last few days as an at-home parent.  They've been busy but there's much to be done to get myself ready for the return to work and get the kiddos ready for daycare.  I dropped off supplies and paperwork today with our daycare provider - I will admit that I cried as I left and I didn't even leave the kiddos behind.  I'm so screwed on Monday.  It just won't do to show up at my new job all snewy and puffy-eyed.  I'm nervous I won't be able to switch gears all that well.

The past few days have been filled with more kisses, hugs and cuddles than usual - which is saying a lot as I'm a snuggler by nature.  I've even been able to snag some quality snuggle time with C who is usually too busy to be bothered to sit still.  As ready as I am to return to work, there is the unavoidable fact that I will miss my children.  I won't miss the baggage of being an at-home parent but I will miss the joy of simply being with them.  I think this will be hard for J as well.  His shift change has just been approved.  He will now work from 7am-3pm instead of 3pm-11pm.  The later shift allowed us to have some nice family time together every day, before he's exhausted from a long day.  I feel bad for him because so much of the focus is on how hard it will be for me and it's not recognized by many others (friends and family) that this will be a hard change for him as well.  He'll be picking them up from daycare by 4pm so there's still much of the evening ahead but it will just feel like a different kind of time he'll have with them.  I know we will develop a new rhythm as a family but it's the transition that's the kicker.

Because I'm on the cusp of returning to work, much of my crankiness has disappeared just with the promise of mental stimulation and regular adult interaction.  I'm even starting to think - huh, being at-home isn't that bad afterall, what the heck have I been bitching about?  It's making these last few days even more precious.

I've got loads more on my mind but it's starting to get jumbled so I'll keep it simple.  I could've boiled this post down to one sentence: I'm going to miss my kiddos when I go back to work next week.

Comments

[soralis]

Good luck returning to work. I found the first week the most difficult, then when the routine kicked in it was much easier.

Love the new look

[thalia]

I think it's impressive, the way you are handling this change. Not with guilt, and through acknowledging the difficult trade-offs involved. I hope the transition is a smooth one.

[Michelle]

I too am returning to work on Monday, and am going to drop off my supplies and paperwork tomorrow at the daycare. I can't wait to be back in the adult world, but I know I'm going to miss Molly like crazy and I'm already feeling guilty about going back. I wish there was a better solution!

[Lut C.]

Congratulations on the new job. The transition does sound rough, but I hope it'll all work out fine.

[cass]

I'm only going back part time, and the transition is rough. But having time to use my brain? Adult conversation? Five minutes alone in the bathroom? All seeming like fabulous enticements!

[Nico]

I do miss Ant when I'm at work, but at the same time, I think that the balance that we have struck makes us all happier.

Twin blogs - Eva at http://sarahandjordanll.blogspot.com/ is one I enjoy that you may not have seen yet.

[Emmie]

Hi there! Your blog was one of the first I found when I first started IVF treatment, and now I have twins too. It's been a bumpy ride, so I look forward to jumping over to your blog again and I hope we can share tips on how to survive being an infertile, working mom of twins. Your babies are beautiful!

Emmie

[Heather]

Good luck with starting the new job! I go back to work on Monday and I've had the same feelings as you - I've been looking forward to returning to work for that adult interaction and time to myself, but I'll miss my babies a lot. These last few days at home with them are very precious to me and going by so fast! I'm going to miss them so much!

As for twin blogs, other than me, there's Emmie's that I read and I see that's she's commented. And Kerry Lynn's blog...http://klg221.blogspot.com/ And then Kirsten's http://ked00.blogspot.com/ and Kristen's http://expectingababy.blogspot.com/

There are a couple more, but I think I'll leave it at that. Feel free to e-mail me if you want more.

[Stacie (The Twinkies)]

Good luck going back to work.

I dropped some dimes in the college fund.

[tbonegrl]

I've always followed your blog, you're welcome to add mine. (I had 32w twin boys they are 10m old)