I suck

Yup - my good intentions to resume regular blogging went to the dogs.  But we're still trucking along.  We're moderately settled into our new home - I won't lie - there are still boxes tucked discretely into a few corners and the "finished" basement is not looking quite so finished.  We've gone beyond a mere junk drawer (there was always that one drawer in our kitchen growing up) to a junk room.  And I thought I had cleared out so much of our crap.

One big change since I last posted - I left my last job and have found a new position.   I opted for a position that involves significanly less stress, slightly more $ and better benefits but a loooooonger commute.  It seems to be working so far.  Though today I'm feeling blue because I just don't get as much time at home with the kiddos during their awake hours than I would like. 

I think the reason I'm feeling a little blue is that when I dropped N and C off at daycare, our provider asked if I'd seen this funny new thing N likes to do.  I told her I hadn't but that I'd ask J.  She then told me about a new "trick" of theirs (spitting) and we discussed where they might have picked this up.  I have never seen them spit in the manner she described so I told her I'd ask J about it.  Having to say that twice in one morning kind of sucked.

It's hard to feel like you're making the best choices because it just seems like none of the options are perfect.  There's always a tradeoff with combining work and family and all I can hope is that I'm making the best decisions for everyone involved.  I like working, I like my job.  Working also isn't exactly optional for me.  I don't feel guilty about working.  I just miss my kids and seeing all the fun things they get into in a day.

Comments

[Kath]

Dear Lori, it's good to hear from you. And no, you don't suck. As you say, all possible options come with tradeoffs, and you are doing the very best you can. That's all any of us can do.

And congratulations on the new job!

[Jenn]

You'd think I have the best of both worlds working at home, but even that sucks most of the time. Something or someone is always shortchanged.

[MsPrufrock]

It was good to see a new post from you pop up in my reader!

I don't think there is such a thing as balance in this instance. A woman stays at home full-time, but might want to work. Another might work full-time, but wants to be home more often. I am often frustrated at the lack of balance, because like you, I enjoy working. I'll be honest, I also love working full-time and couldn't have it any other way. However, I would always love more time to spend with P. I find it one of parenting's most frustrating issues.

[Flicka]

Hooray, it's good to hear from you!

I don't know if there is such a thing as balance. I want and choose to be home full time but I still really miss my job and have to search for ways to keep my brain alive. I think there's always something we long for no matter what.

[thalia]

Lori - great to hear from you and congrats on the new job. I so know how you are feeling, I get really antsy on the days I don't get home for bedtime. But I do also enjoy working. Don't know how to resolve this other than to agree with others that from here on out, things are perfect, but imperfect, all at the same time.

[soralis]

So glad to hear an update! When you have twins and are working I am sure it's hard to find time to blog.

Take care and enjoy

[The Broken Man]

Hope you get to see the cute stuff really soon (not sure about the spitting though!)

The Broken Man

[Quilla]

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[Generic Viagra]

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[Micheala Woods]

Its difficult to get time management into order even though we stay at home full time, there is just so much to do. Motherhood is wonder hood i think :-).